Karin and Rob were got worried and decided to call in a professional.
Or the closest thing they knew to a professional which was Rob's brother, Tom, wait-listed police academy comedian.
He was convinced that these were what initially had scared me off:
Escalante is afraid of NO Chi chis! Attached or on de counters!
For some reason this led Tom to a diner. No joke. Where he though this might have scared me:
But it only scared Karin's appetite
Tom decided to run some interviews:
He asked Mr. Twain a great many serious questions.
And got a great many answers. Some were secrets for Tom
Some were secrets for Mark
With these leads, Tom lead the crew to the culprit.
Sergei, AKA Arnold the Armored Armadillo. He had found me at my lowest point and had used my vices to keep me captive. But no fear, Tom, the comedian awaiting training, stood strong.
Confident in his weapon.
Not his crotch, perv, the slingshot. Si, I know Tom was not well matched for the evils of Russian gun fighting with Sergei, AKA Arnold, but you have heard of David and Goliath, no?
Well, Tom won out in the end. And I am back just in time to watch skiings with Karin and Rob. They're taking me to the premier of The Daily Slay tonight.
Tom has gone back to a place they call St. Louis. I plan to visit him and bring him cheap Tequila. Then I will steal his weapon and use it in my revenge against Sergei, AKA Arnold. I will make him pay for what he did to The Great Escalante! (and I don't mean in roubles.)