Skip to main content

Escalante's in hiding... shhhh Part II

Karin and Rob were got worried and decided to call in a professional.

Or the closest thing they knew to a professional which was Rob's brother, Tom, wait-listed police academy comedian.

He was convinced that these were what initially had scared me off:

012

Escalante is afraid of NO Chi chis! Attached or on de counters!

For some reason this led Tom to a diner. No joke. Where he though this might have scared me:

032

But it only scared Karin's appetite

033

Tom decided to run some interviews:

035

He asked Mr. Twain a great many serious questions.

034

And got a great many answers. Some were secrets for Tom

037

Some were secrets for Mark

038

With these leads, Tom lead the crew to the culprit.

Sergei

Sergei, AKA Arnold the Armored Armadillo. He had found me at my lowest point and had used my vices to keep me captive. But no fear, Tom, the comedian awaiting training, stood strong.

Tom's got it under control

Confident in his weapon.

043

Not his crotch, perv, the slingshot. Si, I know Tom was not well matched for the evils of Russian gun fighting with Sergei, AKA Arnold, but you have heard of David and Goliath, no?

Well, Tom won out in the end. And I am back just in time to watch skiings with Karin and Rob. They're taking me to the premier of The Daily Slay tonight.

Tom has gone back to a place they call St. Louis. I plan to visit him and bring him cheap Tequila. Then I will steal his weapon and use it in my revenge against Sergei, AKA Arnold. I will make him pay for what he did to The Great Escalante! (and I don't mean in roubles.)

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Friday Quotes! The GAME

Introducing *drumroll please* Friday Quotes: The Game Apparently people play this game in their heads when they read this anyway so here's your chance to make it interactive. Guess who said each quote. You can post your answers in the comments. The person with the most correct answers gets.... the joy of being right. What? I don't paid for this blog, so you'll have to find self satisfaction wherever you can. Let the Games Begin! 1. "She's so dumb she thinks 'soy milk' is Spanish for 'I am milk'." 2. "Yeah... I didn't sit next to him on spaghetti day." 3. “Its just like when you don’t think about something, you know, and then you think about something.” 4. "What, you're my fucking mom? What, you shat me out of your womb?" 5. “I just had all of this emotion, and it burst forth from my face.” 6. “Chances are if you're reading it and you think its Heath, its probably Heath.” 7. “He drinks whiskey, or Izze, or l...

Past tense

I work with this really kickass lawyer. She's been all crazy over this guy lately. He worked for probation. Past tense. Did you see it? Over the weekend he killed himself. Enter past tense, the unwelcome jerk. And I feel soooo terrible. And guilty. Because I tried it to. I talked about it a little in this post . Try #17 and on. That's where I talk about it. A little. And now when someone kills themselves, I feel guilty. Like what I did when I was 17 somehow makes me responsible for everyone who ever does it. Like because I tried it, I should know how to fix it. But there are tons of recovering drug addicts that can't tell you how to get sober. There are great thinkers that can't explain their ideas. And the fact is, no one can explain suicide.

Wednesdays' Weirdos: Kindergarten Krazy

My friends took their 5 year old, Tempest, to look at schools in Denver. One of them went to the Waldorf Schools as a kid so they've been pretty into checking them out. I asked about the visit and these are some of the tidbits I got: - They speak really quietly, apparently its a little eerie. - They had a story telling time where they lit a candle and sat in a circle. At the end of story, they used a snuffer dealie bobber to snuff out the candle. Tempest asked how they did it and they told her "Magic..." in their whispery conspiratorial voices. - One of the teachers told the mom about how at night when she dreams she goes to an alternate plane where she meets up with the children and it is there that she finds out what the children need. Making her this week's Wednesday's Weirdo: Kindergarten Krazy. The dad did not think this was weird. The mom did. I said I'd like to think when she goes home and sleeps, she thinks of something other than work. But wh...