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My cute Mexican cousin's husband and how Mickey's never inviting me anywhere again

This is too crazy/me-being-stupid a story not to tell.

I was in a crazy good mood yesterday. I wanted to play in the sun all day and drink and make friends and cause trouble and and and...

I did.

I went with a coworker to the Frisco BBQ where we met up with another coworker, Mickey. There, I drank way too much. I was in such a good mood that I didn't notice that I drank way too much. So, when my coworker, Mickey, invited my husband and I to go to a party afterwards I thought it would be a good idea not only to go, but to buy more alcohol before going. Keep in mind that I haven't really started any trouble yet.

Soooo, we go to some friends of Mickey's where I feel the itch to start trouble. Rob's downstairs being talked into a motorcycle, which I also think is a good idea. I tell him we should spend our down payment money on the motor cycle instead of buying a house.

Mickey tells me this is a bad idea and I head upstairs. NOW, what I think is a good idea is rocking people's kitchen stools stealthy like. So I grab the bottom rung of this guy's stool and tug a little. He doesn't seem to notice. Neither does anyone else.

So I do it again. But I'm too drunk so I actually pull it out from under him.

He totally falls on the ground. This I don't like. I feel bad. He laughs though and so does his wife.

Fast forward a few minutes to when he lifts his pant leg to show me his prosthetic leg. Now I really feel bad. I bring up to him what an asshole I am for knocking him over, but he doesn't mind. Also, his wife thinks its hilarious. Did I mention that I asked her to be my cute Mexican cousin? (Seriously, she was adorable. I really do want her to be my cute Mexican cousin. She said yes, and so I'm holding her to it.)

So then My Cute Mexican Cousin's husband tells me the story of how he lost his leg. Its long. The story, I mean. Cuz he's wasted too. But I definitely owe him listening to the crazy story of how he lost his leg.

Long story short, he was shop lifting at a liquor store where he normally didn't shop lift. (As a teenager, he apparently shop lifted liquor and was quite proud that he was known for it and still is proud to this day.) He got caught and ran. Some guy chased him down with his car and ran him over. Yes, some crazy asshole, like bigger asshole than me, chased a teenager with his CAR and hit him. CRAZY!

Crazy like if god had a burning bush close by, he'd a been all "Dang that shit's crazy!"

I don't remember much after that except we walked home and I remember bits and pieces of having outstanding sex.

So that's the story of "My cute Mexican cousin's husband and how Mickey's never inviting me anywhere again"

Now I'm going to try and run so I can sweat out some of this before I die.
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Comments

  1. JudithJune 21, 2009 at 4:41 PM

    Dang that sh*t's crazy! Bring Escalante when you come and I'll hide the barstools.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousNovember 6, 2009 at 12:48 PM

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete

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