Skip to main content

Friday Quotes!

"drink several beers while you're on call. Then brush your teeth with whiskey"

"I want to start a band called "Fuck you _______." It'll be a Christian rock band, of course. "

"Wondering if a mandate of Dirty Thirty should be mud wrestling"
"Knowing me, I'd break a bone and everyone'd hear it and be all grossed out and then my wound would be infected cuz I'd be in MUD. I have terrible ideas sometimes."
"that's why you wrestle in chocolate sauce instead of mud, but what would I know, I don't do stuff like that ;)"
"I think its a different kind of dirty... the kind that doesnt wash off"
"I think my party just got WAY more interesting either way!!!"
"You know how to use trashbags and a hose."


"Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim."

(Vicki Harrison)





Special Flag Day Quotes

"Holy Shit!!!"
"UH-UH...Unholy Shit!"

"Take that you funt! How do you like that contracter?"
"I held back on the green penis."
"The greenis?"

"Who gave Michael J. Fox the camera?!?!"

"Croc-a-gina!"

"She looks like a Shar-Pei puppy when she takes her clothes off."

"Why do you hate Ron Jeremy so much?"
"Why do you tickle his balls so much?"
Labels:

Comments

  1. Your BrotherJune 19, 2009 at 1:49 PM

    Is this another audience participation quote? I'll go with...

    I want to start a band called "Fuck You Buddha". It'll be a Christian rock band, of course."

    Kinda reminds me of that old gameshow 'Match Game".

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousJune 19, 2009 at 2:17 PM

    sometimes swimming is too much and all you can do is try to float!!
    OOOO,
    MOM

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Friday Quotes! The GAME

Introducing *drumroll please* Friday Quotes: The Game Apparently people play this game in their heads when they read this anyway so here's your chance to make it interactive. Guess who said each quote. You can post your answers in the comments. The person with the most correct answers gets.... the joy of being right. What? I don't paid for this blog, so you'll have to find self satisfaction wherever you can. Let the Games Begin! 1. "She's so dumb she thinks 'soy milk' is Spanish for 'I am milk'." 2. "Yeah... I didn't sit next to him on spaghetti day." 3. “Its just like when you don’t think about something, you know, and then you think about something.” 4. "What, you're my fucking mom? What, you shat me out of your womb?" 5. “I just had all of this emotion, and it burst forth from my face.” 6. “Chances are if you're reading it and you think its Heath, its probably Heath.” 7. “He drinks whiskey, or Izze, or l...
14 comments
Read more

Past tense

I work with this really kickass lawyer. She's been all crazy over this guy lately. He worked for probation. Past tense. Did you see it? Over the weekend he killed himself. Enter past tense, the unwelcome jerk. And I feel soooo terrible. And guilty. Because I tried it to. I talked about it a little in this post . Try #17 and on. That's where I talk about it. A little. And now when someone kills themselves, I feel guilty. Like what I did when I was 17 somehow makes me responsible for everyone who ever does it. Like because I tried it, I should know how to fix it. But there are tons of recovering drug addicts that can't tell you how to get sober. There are great thinkers that can't explain their ideas. And the fact is, no one can explain suicide.
6 comments
Read more

Wednesdays' Weirdos: Kindergarten Krazy

My friends took their 5 year old, Tempest, to look at schools in Denver. One of them went to the Waldorf Schools as a kid so they've been pretty into checking them out. I asked about the visit and these are some of the tidbits I got: - They speak really quietly, apparently its a little eerie. - They had a story telling time where they lit a candle and sat in a circle. At the end of story, they used a snuffer dealie bobber to snuff out the candle. Tempest asked how they did it and they told her "Magic..." in their whispery conspiratorial voices. - One of the teachers told the mom about how at night when she dreams she goes to an alternate plane where she meets up with the children and it is there that she finds out what the children need. Making her this week's Wednesday's Weirdo: Kindergarten Krazy. The dad did not think this was weird. The mom did. I said I'd like to think when she goes home and sleeps, she thinks of something other than work. But wh...
5 comments
Read more