1. "She's so dumb she thinks 'soy milk' is Spanish for 'I am milk'."
2. "Yeah... I didn't sit next to him on spaghetti day."
3. “Its just like when you don’t think about something, you know, and then you think about something.”
Random chick in DU's bathroom
4. "What, you're my fucking mom? What, you shat me out of your womb?"
Billy Bob Thorton in Bad Santa
5. “I just had all of this emotion, and it burst forth from my face.”
6. “Chances are if you're reading it and you think its Heath, its probably Heath.”
7. “He drinks whiskey, or Izze, or liquored up Izze.”
8. "You’re such a special flavor of dork."
9. "Cheers to boozie Izze"
10. "Booty fuck Wildernest?"
11. "I'm planning on throwing myself a surprise 30th birthday party, and when everyone arrives, I'll say 'surprise!' Oooh, maybe I could tell them where we're going as part of the surprise."
12. "Do you have a fake Facebook account?"
"Yeah, its hangin' out with my fake gmail account I use to check my fake google calendar. Do you want to be my friend on my fake Facebook account?"
Bri and Karin
13. "Getting tattoos makes me horny."
"And that's how you make Brianne leave."
Heather and Karin
14. In Parking Lot at Keystone
A "Spare-a-juana?" (to passersby)
B "Nah man, good luck with that."
C "Yeah man, I might have some spare-a-juana."
D "There's a pocketfull of pebbers in it for you... Wanna take a ganjala ride with us?"
C "Why yes. Yes, I would."
Demian, Stranger, Karin
15. "Somebody should name a brewery after the dam. It could be The Dam Brewery. And they could make a bunch of Dam Beer."
"Then you could get a dam job there."
Demian and Dean
Tell me where to go. Literally.
1 day ago