Skip to main content

Fuck you's: Special Edition

Fuck the real world. I smite you.
Fuck the cat walking on the center of my boob in the middle of the night.
Fuck political ads and their bullshit dramatic, breathy voices.
Fuck pro and anti ballot initiative ads that have NO actual useful information in them. Stop wasting money you fucks!
Fuck gray afternoons that result in NO snow for my ski season. That's right I just called it MY ski season.
Fuck not being able to check my email at work
Fuck drug testing
Fuck drug addicts
Fuck the lumping of all drugs, all drug users, and all drug addicts into one horrible scary evil category.
Fuck periods.
Fuck parents that hit their kids.
Fuck even harder, the fact that some of them don't hit them hard enough to allow us to help. What kinda fucked up...grrrr
Fuck turn signals, just cuz.
Fuck Sarah Palin, in a very uncomfortable place.
Fuck Main Street
Dickslap Wallstreet
Fuck socialism for the rich and capitalism for everyone else.
Fuck anyone who thought privatizing social security was a good idea, in your FACE!
Fuck payday loan companies
Fuck ACRONYMS
Fuck being wrong
Fcuk shopping (get it?)
Fuck garlic burps
Fuck whoever comes up with sizing for women's clothes, you schizophrenic asshole. No wonder I can't figure out if I'm fat or thin.
Fuck any designer who chooses dry clean only fabrics. Knock that shit off!
Fuck weird Summit County radio stations. How can three stations have found so much just below mediocre music I've never heard before?
Fuck road construction.
Fuck grimy gym floors when you're barefoot.
and fuck skinny people who don't even exercise.

Feel free to add your own fucks to the list. Trust me, you'll feel better.
Labels:

Comments

  1. AnonymousNovember 2, 2008 at 4:56 PM

    "Fuck Sarah Palin, in a very uncomfortable place."

    What, like the back of a Volkswagon?

    -Your Brother

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousNovember 2, 2008 at 7:45 PM

    I think she meant left nostril

    ReplyDelete
  3. Karin MitchellNovember 3, 2008 at 7:12 AM

    I actually have to go with the Mallrats reference. Yeah, someone got it!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Karin MitchellNovember 4, 2008 at 6:30 AM

    AHHHH I have a new one that's bigger than the rest. Fuck the people in Pennsylvania who sent out a flyer targeting African Americans and telling them to Vote on November 5th.http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com/2008/10/phony_virginia_flier_tells_dem.php

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Friday Quotes! The GAME

Introducing *drumroll please* Friday Quotes: The Game Apparently people play this game in their heads when they read this anyway so here's your chance to make it interactive. Guess who said each quote. You can post your answers in the comments. The person with the most correct answers gets.... the joy of being right. What? I don't paid for this blog, so you'll have to find self satisfaction wherever you can. Let the Games Begin! 1. "She's so dumb she thinks 'soy milk' is Spanish for 'I am milk'." 2. "Yeah... I didn't sit next to him on spaghetti day." 3. “Its just like when you don’t think about something, you know, and then you think about something.” 4. "What, you're my fucking mom? What, you shat me out of your womb?" 5. “I just had all of this emotion, and it burst forth from my face.” 6. “Chances are if you're reading it and you think its Heath, its probably Heath.” 7. “He drinks whiskey, or Izze, or l...
14 comments
Read more

Past tense

I work with this really kickass lawyer. She's been all crazy over this guy lately. He worked for probation. Past tense. Did you see it? Over the weekend he killed himself. Enter past tense, the unwelcome jerk. And I feel soooo terrible. And guilty. Because I tried it to. I talked about it a little in this post . Try #17 and on. That's where I talk about it. A little. And now when someone kills themselves, I feel guilty. Like what I did when I was 17 somehow makes me responsible for everyone who ever does it. Like because I tried it, I should know how to fix it. But there are tons of recovering drug addicts that can't tell you how to get sober. There are great thinkers that can't explain their ideas. And the fact is, no one can explain suicide.
6 comments
Read more

Wednesdays' Weirdos: Kindergarten Krazy

My friends took their 5 year old, Tempest, to look at schools in Denver. One of them went to the Waldorf Schools as a kid so they've been pretty into checking them out. I asked about the visit and these are some of the tidbits I got: - They speak really quietly, apparently its a little eerie. - They had a story telling time where they lit a candle and sat in a circle. At the end of story, they used a snuffer dealie bobber to snuff out the candle. Tempest asked how they did it and they told her "Magic..." in their whispery conspiratorial voices. - One of the teachers told the mom about how at night when she dreams she goes to an alternate plane where she meets up with the children and it is there that she finds out what the children need. Making her this week's Wednesday's Weirdo: Kindergarten Krazy. The dad did not think this was weird. The mom did. I said I'd like to think when she goes home and sleeps, she thinks of something other than work. But wh...
5 comments
Read more