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Friday Quotes

"Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck." - George Carlin

"So I guess I'm running for president... see you at the debate bitches" -Paris Hilton

"When I got my DUI, there was a guy in my trunk. And my license was in the trunk too."

"I hate how they go hiring all these cute girls, it means I have to fuckin be cooler than them."

"the bathtub is a wonderful place."

"only the republican party can eradicate your problems, or the immigrants who caused them"

"I need to go to the post office."
"I need to stop by the bank."
"I need to find someone rational to sleep with."

"What?! They took the stripper pole down, what am I going to do with myself?"
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