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Friday Quotes

"No, I cannot help you pull up your pants. I came here for some Advil, not to help you pull up your goddamn pants."

"You want some of my snowcone?" waving it around in the air temptingly, "... its ridin' dirty..."

“Let’s just plan on one drink, in case you end up having a hunchback and I end up being 300 lbs.”


"Okay, so I got the pregnancy test and the vodka. We'll see which one wins."

"Yeah but its the new Corvette guys that have the big important egos and they're hung like fruit flies."


Demian "Sassafrass has a lot of ass"

Me "Yeah, what has more ass than Sassafrass?" thinking, "Wait, seriously, what word has more than 2 asses? Nothing."

Amber "What is sassafrass?"

Rob "I think its an herb."

Amber "Like Safron"

Me "I think it comes from a grass: Sassafrass grass."

Demian "That's what has more ass."
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