Skip to main content

Escalante's Political Party

Last weekend while visiting friends, we discovered in the blue 'booklet' (the guide book that comes in the mail for all the ballot initiatives etc.) that there was a list of all the third parties. In addition to the usual Green parties and Libertarians, there was also the Heartquake 08 party. WTF?
This led us to designing our own parites. The first party to gain notariety (its already got members on Facebook which makes it legit right?) is the Awareness party. We debated the merrits of various mascots. The owl? Nah, too Hooters.
We finally settled on the Marmot.

awareness party

Although I thought the Gopher from this video might have been better, at least more dramatic.



Then we came up with slogans. "For a better Aware-ica." "Becoming more Aware-ica." "Building Aware-ica."
The problem is that a political party is no fun without a rival party. So what is the rival to the Awareness party? The Intuition Party. It was difficult to choose a mascot for this party but we're thinking of using a salmon since they follow their instincts.

salmon upstream

Plus they're badasses who swim upstream.

Badass got me thinking, the ultimate in rival parties would be Escalante's Political Party: The Animosity Party. No party has more rivals, more enemies, more animosity than the Animosity Party. And no mascot is more prepared for the job of kicking political ass than Escalante. There'd be no wussie-boy gesturing like those Republicrats fist first

politician gesture

and Democrans with their do nada peace signs.

politician gesture 2

The Animosity Party will put their middle finger to the law!

middle finger

With Escalante back from his rejuvinating trip to Denver, to lead them, the Animosity Party will write off the establishment with their teeth if necessary!

McCain Face

Comments

  1. I can certainly think of worse ways of dealing with not smoking than masturbating. And I already loved swearing.
    Note to self: if badly in need of sex-see person who has recently quit smoking. Oh wait, I have a friend down the street who just quit... feel like visiting?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I thought a marmot was a mythological creature from old cartoons.

    Whoops...thats a "varmint."

    nevermind.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Friday Quotes! The GAME

Introducing *drumroll please* Friday Quotes: The Game Apparently people play this game in their heads when they read this anyway so here's your chance to make it interactive. Guess who said each quote. You can post your answers in the comments. The person with the most correct answers gets.... the joy of being right. What? I don't paid for this blog, so you'll have to find self satisfaction wherever you can. Let the Games Begin! 1. "She's so dumb she thinks 'soy milk' is Spanish for 'I am milk'." 2. "Yeah... I didn't sit next to him on spaghetti day." 3. “Its just like when you don’t think about something, you know, and then you think about something.” 4. "What, you're my fucking mom? What, you shat me out of your womb?" 5. “I just had all of this emotion, and it burst forth from my face.” 6. “Chances are if you're reading it and you think its Heath, its probably Heath.” 7. “He drinks whiskey, or Izze, or l...

Past tense

I work with this really kickass lawyer. She's been all crazy over this guy lately. He worked for probation. Past tense. Did you see it? Over the weekend he killed himself. Enter past tense, the unwelcome jerk. And I feel soooo terrible. And guilty. Because I tried it to. I talked about it a little in this post . Try #17 and on. That's where I talk about it. A little. And now when someone kills themselves, I feel guilty. Like what I did when I was 17 somehow makes me responsible for everyone who ever does it. Like because I tried it, I should know how to fix it. But there are tons of recovering drug addicts that can't tell you how to get sober. There are great thinkers that can't explain their ideas. And the fact is, no one can explain suicide.

Friday Quotes!

"You may be unusually energetic today because your key planet Venus received an unexpected wake-up call from electrifying Uranus." "Nationalism does nothing but teach you how to hate people you've never met--all of a sudden you take pride in accomplishments you had no part in whatsoever... " -Doug Stanhope "Drink that, DENVER!" Quiz Results: You are 48% mean "Is the junk yard dog losing her bite?" "Weak!" "F you Karin--your pretty face is going to HELL!" "Yeah it is, I might have had to spit on a homeless person but I got 67%" At the fireworks- "Where would patriotism be without the Chinese?" "The phrase 'I'm not racist but...' should just be replaced with 'I'm racist AND...'" "12 million homeowners and investors will be "underwater"--owing more than their property is worth." "I prefer up-side-down. Makes people sound like they've gone face...