Skip to main content

Escalante's Political Party

Last weekend while visiting friends, we discovered in the blue 'booklet' (the guide book that comes in the mail for all the ballot initiatives etc.) that there was a list of all the third parties. In addition to the usual Green parties and Libertarians, there was also the Heartquake 08 party. WTF?
This led us to designing our own parites. The first party to gain notariety (its already got members on Facebook which makes it legit right?) is the Awareness party. We debated the merrits of various mascots. The owl? Nah, too Hooters.
We finally settled on the Marmot.

awareness party

Although I thought the Gopher from this video might have been better, at least more dramatic.



Then we came up with slogans. "For a better Aware-ica." "Becoming more Aware-ica." "Building Aware-ica."
The problem is that a political party is no fun without a rival party. So what is the rival to the Awareness party? The Intuition Party. It was difficult to choose a mascot for this party but we're thinking of using a salmon since they follow their instincts.

salmon upstream

Plus they're badasses who swim upstream.

Badass got me thinking, the ultimate in rival parties would be Escalante's Political Party: The Animosity Party. No party has more rivals, more enemies, more animosity than the Animosity Party. And no mascot is more prepared for the job of kicking political ass than Escalante. There'd be no wussie-boy gesturing like those Republicrats fist first

politician gesture

and Democrans with their do nada peace signs.

politician gesture 2

The Animosity Party will put their middle finger to the law!

middle finger

With Escalante back from his rejuvinating trip to Denver, to lead them, the Animosity Party will write off the establishment with their teeth if necessary!

McCain Face

Comments

  1. I can certainly think of worse ways of dealing with not smoking than masturbating. And I already loved swearing.
    Note to self: if badly in need of sex-see person who has recently quit smoking. Oh wait, I have a friend down the street who just quit... feel like visiting?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I thought a marmot was a mythological creature from old cartoons.

    Whoops...thats a "varmint."

    nevermind.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Where'd the monkeys in my hair go?

I promise I will post Wednesdays' Weirdos again next week, but the pictures for this week got trapped on my camera with a dead battery. Sorry. I suck. Instead I'll tell you a drinking story. We were in St. Louis visiting for the holidays and a rare opportunity to get annihilated with my girlfriends presented itself. I started out with two beers while I was waiting for the girls with Rob's friends. Then, when we got to the fancy-pants bar I switched to whiskey on the rocks. I'm at sea level so I think I can drink like a champ. Hmmm. After about three of these and I-don't-remember-how-many shots, I switched back to beer. Damn, I'm bright. At some point in the evening I realize that we're in a bar that used to be my favorite bar in the whole world. It was called Tangerine then. They had Go Go dancers on the bar and let you climb on it and had hand shaped chairs so your butt got held. They had trucker night where you got your drinks in mugs. They ha...

Dear Book Pimp

So I wrote this book and I think it's pretty decent. That's the feedback I'm getting anyway, which is bitchin' really since I have a degree in Education, NOT writing. Plus, this is my first try, so really I should be happy, right? But, turns out writing the book is maybe the easy part. The publishing is another story. You have to find a Literary Agent. To do this, you have to write a 1-3 page letter to many literary agents to convince them to read a sample chapter. Send it with a Self addressed stamped envelope (SASE) and wait. there's more but I'm already experiencing a high level anxiety just writing about this part. In my letter, I'm supposed to explain who I am, what my book's about, why I'm qualified to write it, why its sicky illy good, who'll read it, and on and on. AHHHHHhhhhh! This shit scares me. Also, I'm supposed to be witty, clever, literary, and junk. Oh and explain a 300 page book in a sales pitch. I'm not a frea...

Past tense

I work with this really kickass lawyer. She's been all crazy over this guy lately. He worked for probation. Past tense. Did you see it? Over the weekend he killed himself. Enter past tense, the unwelcome jerk. And I feel soooo terrible. And guilty. Because I tried it to. I talked about it a little in this post . Try #17 and on. That's where I talk about it. A little. And now when someone kills themselves, I feel guilty. Like what I did when I was 17 somehow makes me responsible for everyone who ever does it. Like because I tried it, I should know how to fix it. But there are tons of recovering drug addicts that can't tell you how to get sober. There are great thinkers that can't explain their ideas. And the fact is, no one can explain suicide.