"I wonder what a cactus fruit popsicle tastes like. And if there will be a cure for AIDS in my lifetime."
"I also have concrete proof that the bermuda triangle is a parallelogram."
"the circus? Really? I much prefer you as a social worker who falls off her bike when drunk. Now that's a show!"
"We drank a lot of beers and played on the Wii Fit board."
"You got Wiinebriated?"
"Yeah! And if I get really good at it I'm gonna call myself a Wiinebriadore!"
"I think that Carrot Top and Fergie are seeing the same facial rejuvenatory specialist. It's hard to tell the two of them apart sometimes lately. And Joan Rivers and Steven Tyler look like twin lizards. Twizards."
"This is the kinda jukebox you can ride."
"Just cuz I got a peace sign on my shirt don't mean I won't go to war."
"happy birthday! Take it easy drinking and Wiiing. Or biking. ps I fell off my barstool & thought of you yesterday."
"Happy birthday! Or the week! have fun, take a first aid kit with u! =)"
"You gonna sock some armless chick because shes got no balance? What do you think this is your birthday?"
What an asshole.
1 day ago